Death be not proud by John Dunne has always been one of my favorite sonnets and carries a very personal meaning to me.
Now usually I don’t share my story because most people think I’m making up these event but I got no reason to make this up just to write a blog. Also a little encouragement from a fellow blogger brought me to share it to the community.
My story and escape from death start at birth (although this has been told to me) born in fetal distress I was rushed to the incubator tent to be resuscitated and then at 6 months old when I died and by some miracle and some ancient old wife’s ritual (apparently an elderly neighbor slaughtered a turtle dove and placed the dying bird on my chest until his life was drained and mine was regained) brought back to life when I spent the better part of a year in hospital.
But that was not the last time death visited me, at age 14 I contracted what was a mystery disease which left me loosing loads of weight, extreme abdominal pain every day (ladies I understand your pains) for four years. I found refuge in the comfort of church and the Lord I knew there had to be a reason for me going through everything I was going through. I saw the fear in my family’s eyes of not knowing when I will be taken away from them. What made it worse a idiot doctor proclaimed to his colleague not knowing I understood their jargon that he can’t see me living till my 16th birthday, the nursing staff at the hospital my mom was employed also at times thought I was only seeking attention, which resulted in one nearly receiving a slap from both my mother and a doctor.
I survived past 16 but when I just completing my grade 12 exam and no longer regarded as a minor I went to my doctor and telling him I don’t care what happens I want a operation. Eventually the diagnoses was a range of intestinal ailments. By then I was also consuming 16 various meds 3 times a day ( I was popping pills as if they were smarties.)
I will never forget that day 9 March 1992 I weighed 22 kg was only flesh and bone, my dad was my blood donor and all my blood counts reflected I should have been dead, just to give you a reflection my full blood count was 1 and for those in the know will understand how low this was a normal person should have a count of 10 minimum but that count is not healthy either. Finally the time arrive 07:42, I looked at my parents and aunts who came to support me and said see you on the flip side also I said no matter happens thanks for everything and I love you guys.
The procedure was meant to last just over 5 hours. I woke up 9 hours later in the most horrific pain and my arms filled with holes looking like a junky and the drip in the only vein the medical team could find in my neck. The doc came into the room and said to me we lost you for awhile glad you came back. His account of the events to me was that just 1 hour into the surgery I completely flat-lined and they tried for close to 10 minutes to revive me and he would not stop trying and did not know how to tell my parents that after 5 years he and I lost my journey when suddenly just as he was about to switch off the monitors I grabbed out with my right hand and with a smile on my face was holding someones hand.
During my 15 minutes away I remember looking back and getting out of my body and walking with a man glowing with wings we passed through a forest were I could hear people pleading and asked him if this was hell and if he’s taking me there he smiled down at me and said no this is the place where you get cleansed before heaven (for Catholics and other Christians purgatory) he further told me you get a one way ticket to hell there’s no passing although for some souls in purgatory there’s no redemption, I saw people of all walks of life, a lot of religious people as well. Finally our journey was complete we passed these stunning gates shining bright the smell of the most stunning aroma, which I sometimes get a whiff of when I’m really lonely, and laughter everywhere. We walked and talked and he explained that all through my life he was assigned to be with me and the times I died as an infant it was his duty to give the people the knowledge of what to do to save me. I can’t remember his name. We met a friend of mine who lost her battle to leukemia and other people I knew I asked if my gran mother was there he answered it was not his duty to inform me of that. Eventually after spending what felt like a lifetime exploring my new home we came to a castle, As I entered I was greeted by the archangels and saints and a magnitude of people so much I could lost count. I felt at home more importantly I was glad the pain was gone.
Finally after walking through this great hall and enjoying the music I came to my destination The Throne on either side was a smaller throne seated at the right hand as described in all bible stories was Christ our redeemer and His Holy mother. I got welcomed with a warm embrace by all of them. We spoke for awhile Our Father telling me how I was chosen to be His light on the earth I remember asking but why He allowed me to get so severely ill and loose my teenage years, He smiled and told me because He knew I would not give up and will not do so ever. Surprised I asked why did He mention ever when the pain is gone and I’m in heaven. I got told “because my son your job is not complete” we spoke for awhile longer and was given my task to complete (sadly because of my life choices and fear to tell this story before I can’t remember my task). My angel and someone else was called and told to guide me back, like a flash I woke up.
My miracle does not end there the evening while sleeping I heard the nursing staff rush into the room and asking why all the lights where on, one patient an elderly dying man told the nurses that the lights are coming from my bed and it was caused by the four men and the lady in blue who are standing around my bed. I wore a Rosary around my neck which my aunt received as a gift from Mother Theresa and also had a luminous statue of Our Holy Mother at my bed side, both was glowing so bright it laminated the entire ward.
The next day the old man and other patient started receiving a full recovery sadly the third passed on but to a better place. My stay in hospital which usually last 3 weeks was all but 6 days.
I should add although the book of life do exists we not immediately judged on entry, we are our own judges and how we live our lives in accordance to our spiritual teachings that determines where we end up. The book of life records our entry an exit on earth and records how we live our lives, but everyone before death have a final chance to redeem ourselves and yes a few days or moments before we die we already know.
I recently was told by someone that the person who accompanied me back and was hold my hand was my gran and one of the men standing around my bed was the archangel Gabriel.
Death has clearly not been mighty and triumphant over me, one day yes our paths shall cross again and then at that time my time on earth shall be done. For now I will work towards changing the lives of those I meet and giving courage and hope to those who need it most. God has a plan for all of us. You are worth it in His eyes. You might be going through pain right now just call out and He will give you comfort.
I so wish I can recall my life’s mission because I feel lost and misguided but I know during my healing and find finding my own truth I will discover it again.